Most of you are probably familiar with my presidential aspirations. I had considered jumping right into it this year and announcing my candidacy, but my name-recognition in certain parts of the country (pretty much anywhere except for Utah and Texas) isn’t quite where I want it to be (practically nothing). There were also the dual stumbling blocks of not being old enough and not having a catchy campaign theme song. I considered “Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta” and “I Feel Pretty”, but couldn’t get rights to use either of them. Therefore, I decided to put my campaigning off for a term or two. This lack of any clear career options for the next eight years brought with it some introspective moments in which I feel I have figured my life plan out. My request is that you respond to my plan (elucidated below) by offering affirmation of my ideas, gentle critiques and suggestions for change, or phone numbers of a local McDonald’s along with assertions that the shift manager position should be my goal.
Ok. So I laid out my life plan to myself and realized a couple of things. First, it is the most convoluted life plan imaginable. It entails three different types of schooling (law, culinary, international relations), 4 or 5 moves, practically unlimited funds, and 17 barefoot Filipino man-servants. Furthermore, I would not actually start making money for at least the next 8 years, and after adding up the years necessary to follow through on everything, I calculated that I would need to live to the age of 125.
Therefore, barring the advent of medical technology that will drastically extend the human life, the acquisition of a spare 30 million dollars, and the voluntary servitude of some affable Filipinos, I need to rethink things. If you have ever eaten a meal with me, you know that I am incapable of planning things reasonably and not going overboard. It’s evident that the same holds true with life plans. Consequently, I am going to offer only the vagaries of what I want my life to look like and ask for input from my readers.
The problem, as I see it, is the conflict between what makes me happy, what satisfies and challenges me, and what I feel I ought to be doing. The more I’ve gotten to know myself, gotten to know what makes me happy, and tried to figure out what makes other people happy, the more I realize that I don’t want to be defined by what profession I choose. I want to be defined by the friends I keep, the family I have, and how I elect to spend my time. Therein lies the problem. I will likely spend 50 plus hours a week for the next 45 years at some sort of career, and the sheer magnitude of the chunk of my life that will be dedicated to that career means I need to find something worth my time. I hardly think that I’m the only one struggling with this; everyone wants to find fulfillment in their work. My problem is that I can’t and won’t dedicate myself even half-heartedly to anything I’m not passionate about.
Anyone who knows me well enough to be reading this blog knows how much I enjoy people. I have an active social life and like being surrounded by people who are comfortable enough around me to ask me to do anything for them. You also know my feelings on food, get-togethers in general, and barbecues in particular. The suggestion has been offered over and over again that I go to culinary school and open up a restaurant, thus combining my natural sociability with my fat-kid love of food. Is that the way to go? I admit, it sounds tempting. If everything worked out, it would seem to be ideal. I would have a place where my friends and family could come. I would have opportunities to positively influence the lives of my employees and to positively affect the community. I have two reservations about the idea. First – when your start working at what you enjoy, does what you enjoy become work? Should food and hosting always be a diversion, an area of fun for me? Second – is that really what I’m supposed to do with myself?
Y’all are already aware of the esteem in which I hold myself. I think fairly highly of my intellectual abilities, my skills at networking, my prospects in the professional world, etc. Would I feel fulfilled serving food all day? I need intellectual stimulation. I need to feel like I’m making a difference, changing the world, and utterly exhausting my talents. This isn’t to be found owning a restaurant. Then what? Law? Politics? International charity work? Dead animal disposal? How is it for you? Is there a chasm between what you like doing and what fulfills you? Will I to live with this dichotomy or should I see it as an opportunity to fill my life to the fullest by doing what fulfills me and what makes me happy?
I think the crux of my dilemma is the following question. Do we have the blessings we do so we can fulfill our dreams and find happiness for ourselves; or do we have a greater obligation to spend ourselves and our talents blessing those who don’t have what we have? Are the two mutually exclusive? If so, at what point does our obligation to others end? You can always find a person or a cause that needs your attention, your time, and your support…when do you stop giving? When is it ok to be selfish? Is it? What is pi to the 78th number?
Anyway…sorry about the torrent of turmoil. If you have any answers, suggestions, comments, questions, or demands that I quit my bitching and go back to writing about Ryan’s mustache, feel free to comment here, e-mail me, facebook me, text me, whatever. I promise my next post will be more fun. And shorter.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My Life Plan (question mark)
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14 comments:
You could always combine food AND law. There's a coffee shop down by our house called "The Legal Grind" that gives legal council and serves coffee.
It isn't that far removed to start a grill and legal place. Maybe you could call it "AMICUS CURIAE, AMICUS CARNERIUM" or "En Banc Bar-B-Que" or some other similarly clever name.
Oh yeah, and the first 78 decimal places in Pi are 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208
damn thing cut off my pi...
tom would leave you all of the 78 decimal places of pi. nice.
austin, there isn't a prescribed number of hours or path in life that results in a satisfying state of being. I doubt God will open his record book (I picture it as a large timex stopwatch actually) and remark at how you spent only 847 hours helping the poor, and 642 hours grilling steak and by jove that just isn't good enough. I actually think he doesn't care at all really about what we pursue (at least occupationally) in life.
What I think God cares about, and the people who you care about care about, and really what you care about is what comes out of the easy bake oven when the timer goes off. The final product. The perfect banana bread. Or chocolate hazelnut souffle, take your pick. At the end of the day, who the hell cares what you do, so long as it challenges you to be a better person than you already are. That 45 years down the road, you can look back and say, hey, X career has helped me become a better person, stimulated me, required me to grow outside myself, made me more compassionate, whatever.
It may be just a hunch, but I think that if you made that your objective, you'd probably find the thing that creates the kind of life you want. I believe the french refer to it as bonheur.
Bonne Chance mon ami.
I was just talking with some people today about how Mitt Romney is never going to get elected and I thought to myself "hey that's okay. Maybe he's just paving the way- getting people used to the idea of a Mormon. Maybe they'll be ready for Austin." Take that how you may.
I have a feeling you'll be happy and good to people though. No matter what you do.
And check out this guy:
Aubrey de Grey
I hear he's going to cure 'aging'. So maybe you will be able to fit all your plans into your elongated life.
And this post is great. Not too long. And not boring.
You make me think of EB White: "I wake each morning torn between the desire to improve the world and the desire to enjoy it. It makes it hard to plan the day." Or hard to plan your life, EB White... Anyway, I have many things to say to you. First and foremost, finding happiness for ourselves and blessing others with our talents are not mutually exclusive. Granted, it is often difficult to find the precise occupation that will fulfill both requirements... hence the dilemma. Regardless, I believe that if you are truly happy and fulfilled (and I'm not talking of this ephemeral, materialistic happiness), that in and of itself makes this world a better place. Besides, you will always have the most and the strongest impact on those in your direct circles of influence - meaning your family, friends, and community. If you can make a difference in your community, whether that be through starting a restaurant, or juggling on the street corner, that will radiate out to others beyond your community.
In addition, I think that you (of all people) would not just create an average restaurant. I think you could feasibly combine many of your ideas of helping "the world" and restaurateur. You could donate meals, you could gift partial proceeds to a charity, etc. etc. The ideas are endless... but I think that you could definitely make your restaurant a combination of motives where you would feel fulfilled and happy, surrounded by people and food, while reaching out to the world.
That said, I strongly believe that what we give to those around us is meant to pinch. If we are not going without something we want because we gave to somebody else, then we have not given enough. That's my opinion, at least...
austin baird - i think that everything you're wondering is the exact same thing that every other person heading out into the "real world" wonders. is it ok to spend so much of my week doing something i hate? or should it be something i love? or if i love it will i grow to hate it if i do it for a living? and the answer is: who the hell knows? this is why i think it's so great that it's ok to pursue several avenues of career in a lifetime.
right now, i am not necessarily passionate about real estate or property management, but i do get to do snippets of space planning & get to network with some interesting people, my bills are paid on time, i love my apartment, and i can save a little bit; this makes it great for me...right now.
do i love living in amarillo? not necessarily, but amazing things are happening in my church that i get to be involved in, my family is here, i'm getting to watch my nephew grow up, etc. so it's great for me...right now.
i think you should stick with what is actually feasible right now with whatever time & money constraints you have. if you are just ok with your job, but love the rest of your life & having that job makes the rest of your life possible, then i think that's perfectly fine.
i know you're a big planner & i think it's good to think ahead & to know what you care most about accomplishing in your life. try to space those out into things that can be achieved right now. baby steps achieved are so much more rewarding than never achieving all the huge things you planned because you never had the resources to complete them, so you never started.
by the way, i love the combo idea of this tom person. i can totally see you with a suit & apron on, grilling someone's steak to perfection while offering them legal counsel :)
I freakin love to cook and enjoy good food a lot more than most. ..but I think there are a lot of people out there cooking and making good things...If you feel you have been given abilities and a passion for something that only few are chosen to do...then you should do that... You can always have great parties if you make money doing what you love. Or you could start a nonprofit to serve others in some way dealing with food. Start a nonprofit restaurant and employee homeless people and give them a place to live in partial exchange for their work .. You can change the world. . .don't forget that!
I'm not ignoring your request for input, just trying to think of the most succinct yet meaningful response...
Why worry about it now? Let it go.
wow.. toms advise for you was near perfection, and i jejunely say that mostly because,' thats what i was going to say' AND i was going to end my post with the 78 decimal places too.
thwarted tho i might be i'm justified in reassuring myself that great minds think alike...
putting that aside im forced to think deeper. And while jess, heather, and emily corner the market here on good sound advise i can only say what immediately popped into my head after reading all their posts...
Amy: "wait- i don't struggle with this.. "
i feel that i too have come to know myself, and the basest truth is I'm out to be happy and that is all i'll do. Thats what feels 'really real' to me (a plug for plato)
Perhaps this is why we are so alike, and why i hated you in the beginning. (yeah sorry) I saw some of myself. Mind you my ego will never be as large as yours.. wait... yeah nope.
And as hedonistic as this sounds i believe that in doing so i AM serving the masses and doing the world a great service. I dare say a perpetually bitchy Amy could, in fact , rival the effects of katrina or worse.
i also take my justification in the nature of God. He has oft been referred to as a selfish God in the scriptures. i subscribe to this kind of righteous selfishness...
And guess what i think.. so do you.
Because the one thing you are whole-heartedly passionate about is fueling your fanatic happiness..i have seen you do it. It is as lucid in your zest for life as it is in your masterful barbecuing. By just the audacious and enigmatic divine nature that you poses austin, you will fullfil the measure of your creation and what more OUGHT you to be doing than that!!!
ohh and always know that i'll be the Andy Warhol to your Kennedy reign, (connection only to be inferred between aspired occupational parallels)
And Epicurus says : The soul can best free itself from anxiety and tumult which haunt it by sober thought ad searching out the reasons for its choices and rejections. Common sense is the beginning of this, and is the most valuable thing a man can have. More precious even than philosophy, for all the other virtues arise from it. It shows that we cannot live happly unless we live with intellegece, honor, and justice, and we cannot live intelligently , honorably or justly without being happy. All the virtues merge in the happy life, which cannot be seperated from them. :-) see i told ya!
The other day, in the mist of similar angst Aubrey yelled at me and said something like, "Live in the now. Decide on next year and do it. Who cares how it affects you when you 60. Your problem is that you think too much." Then I slept on the couch.
You want a life plan?
I say you cook...and seriously reconsider marriage*. =)
*That is a joke.
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