Monday, March 10, 2008

Law school-bound!

Ten days after my last post I got a letter in the mail from the LSAC (the sadists who administer the LSAT). You may remember my last post and the fairly depressing tone in which it was written. Two days before I wrote that, the LSAC had written a letter to me consisting of three paragraphs. The first two were filled with phrases and words like "irregularity", "disqualification", "violation", "disembowelment", "banishment", etc. Finally, buried in the last paragraph was the phrase "not take further action". What did they do with this letter that would alleviate my fears, back me down from the edge of the bridge and convince me to drop the bottle of Southern Comfort? They sat on it!! I got it in the mail February 26. Were they busy popping little kids' balloons? Poking puppies with pins? Giving cupcakes to diabetics? I'll never know. I hope that whoever was responsible for this letter goes in for medical tests, waits three unnecessary weeks for the results, and then has to hear an explanation of all the things that might be happening to their body before finally hearing "ohh...but you're not actually sick". This will likely be the same hospital that treats the guy who invented the hard plastic casing that everything comes in nowadays and is openable only with a machete and a blowtorch. In my ideal world, this inventor has diabetes and can only obtain his much-needed insulin by attempting to tear open the packaging with his bare hands. As the title of this post suggests though, this is all a moot point anyway.

I came home from an incredibly depressing night of waiting tables Friday night humorous digression I work with a couple of very sweet (gullible) girls at the Melting Pot...which provides a never-ending stream of entertainment. Friday night I was teaching one of them to close and told her that part of her closing duties was to empty our water heater. I told her that corporate policy requires the use of a 1\2 liter container to empty all heaters and told her it shouldn't take more than 6 or 7 minutes. Our hot water comes directly from a water main and is impossible to empty, no matter how many times you fill your 1\2 liter cup. After 15 minutes of watching her run from the sink to the tap, my manager had compassion on her and told her why we were all laughing so hard. I'm just glad I didn't tell her she had to use her mouth to transport the water; she likely would have done it humorous digression over to find an email in my box from BYU telling me that I was accepted. This was at 2 in the morning and I was so excited that I went for a 6 mile run, cooked and ate a full dinner and practiced writing "Austin S. Baird, Esquire" in cursive on multiple sheets of paper. I'm still deciding if I'll have people refer to me as "Esquire" or "Barrister".

Why BYU? I've had several people ask me why I want to go to BYU for law school. I've been asked several times if I'm going back because Provo is comfortable, because I miss being around people I know, or if I'm scared of going somewhere else. These are valid questions, so I won't take offense at them. I admit, schools in Washington DC, Los Angeles and NYC have their appeal. You can't find a better place to learn international law than Georgetown or Columbia. I won't find a nicer place to live than 75 degree southern California. There are two things that BYU Law offered me over any of these other schools. First and foremost is their idea that the law is a calling and an opportunity for service. I had a chance to meet with BYU's dean and he didn't once mention the law as a career or a way to make money. You cynics can insist that I'll have changed my tune a year from now, but I'm still convinced that learning the law offers me a chance to directly influence the way that society is structured and a chance to provide a voice for the otherwise impotent. With that sort of outlook on a legal education, it was important for me to find a school that blended responsible use of the law with the learning of it. BYU seems like that place. Concomitant with that emphasis is the reason that BYU's tuition is so cheap and the second reason I'm studying there. The dean explained that BYU charges so little ($9000 a year vs $42000 at other top schools or $31000 at state schools) so that their grads can take whatever job suits them best and matches up with their ideals, as opposed to taking a job based on what would best pay off $200,000 in loans. Corporate law doesn't interest me. Making sure I can always get emails on my Blackberry and working 90 hours a week billing a giant corporation sounds like a newly-added circle to Dante's hell. By graduating virtually debt-free from BYU, I'll be free to take whatever job I want - or not take a job and end up going to culinary school.

That is all for now. Next post I will talk a little about a book called "The Reluctant Fundamentalist". Pick it up. Also, I'm conducting a search for a woman good enough to hold the title of "David Trichler's Girlfriend". If you would like to apply or have someone you can nominate, please send me a headshot and list of interests.