Friday, December 14, 2007

A 3 year old as Milosevic?

First things first. I have come to a decision on the next couple of years of my life. Law school it is. I received a treasure trove of good advice from y'all (and some questionable advice - bull semen collector? If that's the desired position, I don't even want to think what the entry-level position looks like), and most of it told me to be patient, keep trying to figure out what makes me happy, and to trust that it will all work out. That forced some serious introspection as to what I really see myself doing and what will really satisfy me. I don't know what I will end up doing with a law degree, but I do know that I love learning, enjoy school, am ambitious, enjoy analytical thinking, and will need something more than a political science degree to make it anywhere (damn the social science propaganda machine...when you start school they tell you to get a liberal arts degree, to learn to think, to get a "real" education...and when you graduate and ask for help finding a job, they tell you to talk to the business school that they have been deriding for the last 4 years. Oh well, at least I'm not a humanities major.). Furthermore, as an unanticipated ancillary benefit, going to law school will allow me to postpone finding a real job for another three years.

As far as the current state of things, I quit my day job. It happened for a variety of reasons, but the main three are as follows: I didn't see the sense in working 35-40 hours a week for free; I have enough to offer that someone, somewhere, should be shelling out major bucks to have me (perhaps a gigolo position is in order). I spent too much time sitting in front of a computer creating Word documents and entering data. I saw the sun 30 minutes a day and other people about as much. Most importantly, however, I realized that I'm not a starry-eyed idealist. My organization believed that by working as a coalition of countries under the aegis of the United Nations, we can end war and poverty, and make the world a more tolerant and kind place. What's more, they believe that such change can be effected by small groups of determined, idealistic people. I realized that I don't particularly ascribe to those beliefs. I don't think war will ever end. I think there will always be areas of the world that are more disadvantaged than others. I think that people will always highlight their differences so they can exploit them to justify violence. Every generation likes to think that theirs is more advanced, more refined, and more capable of harnessing the violence that has characterized man's existence. Our generation is no more immune to the temptations of hate and savagery than any other, however, we're just more aware of their effects and more self-conscious of our own roles. Lastly, I don't think that a small group of determined people can change the world. I think a small group of people with political power, money, or nuclear weapons can get something done, but I don't think that passion alone can carry the day. Or am I just being cynical?

So...long story short, I'm in the market for a day job. I've been trying to find something in Congress, with either a representative or a senator. Earlier this week I got exasperated at the fruitlessness of sending out resumes into the void that is online recruiting. So I put on my suit, did my hair, borrowed my roommate's briefcase, and went up to Capitol Hill. I went to the placement office and then walked around the building where the representatives have their offices, hoping for something to materialize. I remembered that adage that "fortune favors the bold", and decided to get myself a job. I walked into five different offices and asked to speak to the Chief of Staff, explaining to the receptionist that "of course I have an appointment, it's about your open position for a Legislative Assistant". I didn't really have a game plan. I didn't know if I was going to lie to the Chief of Staff and tell him\her that I had gotten an email about the interview, or if I was going to confess my ruse, throw myself on their mercy, and hope that my ingenuity and determination would get me a job and not get me thrown out of the building. I would like to be able to say that the heavens smiled on me and that the outing resulted in a job, an interview, or at least a fun story. Alas, I ended up sitting in each office for about 15 minutes until the receptionists notified me that the chiefs of staff were "busy with hearings". I tried flirting with one to see if it could get me a cell-phone number, but she was one of those unfortunate women who never got married because she always cheated on any prospective mates with her paramour (Dunkin' Donuts) and her some-time lover (fried foods) (calling people fat is acceptable if it's done circumspectly and semi-wittily...right?). Therefore she has filled her life with cats and soap operas and her desk with pictures from Anne Geddes (that photographer who takes pictures of babies dressed up as sunflowers, food, Slobodan Milosevic,etc.) in an attempt to compensate for the human affection that constantly eludes her. Long story short, she was resistant to my charms (perhaps I should have offered a 15 piece from KFC) and I obtained nothing from my outing. I'm optimistic though, I hope to be wearing a suit five days a week on Capitol Hill within the next three weeks. I know I promised vituperation of Europeans (even more necessary after an incident last night, but Melting Pot stories will come on the next post), but that also must wait. Lastly - my next post will explain more, but I am putting Spencer Hyde, a.k.a "Pepe" the author of the blog "Haberdashery" ( on notice. Consider yourself warned Spencer.